Relationships

I Heard My Husband’s Girlfriend on Talk Radio

He’s dead now, so I can say what I like about him

Bev G 🧙‍♀️
7 min readMay 4, 2020

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Photo by Alessandro Cerino on Unsplash

D. was my second husband, and we were together for almost ten years. It was tumultuous, to say the least. It wasn’t until much later I understood that he was a narcissist. Other people knew — and they were either like me, charmed and sucked into his sphere of influence, or he instantly repelled them. He was 12 years older than me, which added to his attraction.

But, it was his voice, as honey-filled and mellifluous as Richard Burton’s, that I fell for. His cultured Welsh accent was irresistable.

Interesting fact: my husband also went to the same school as Howard Marks, drug smuggler, author, actor, and UK Parliamentary candidate.

Ups and Downs; Ins and Outs

Our marriage was a drama, a soap opera, a constant power struggle. He loved my independence and sass, yet he hated those things about me too and set about destroying them.

I wasn’t permitted any activity or interest that was mine alone. He insisted on control of our finances, though he wasn’t very good at it. He persuaded me to sell my gorgeous red BMW (bought with my own money before we married) to pay off his overdraft. There was always a good reason for him to get what he wanted.

As the years went by, it became more difficult. Not to go into details, but he was verbally and physically abusive. He thought it was his duty to give me the occasional thrashing; after all, that’s what his old man had done to his mother. It was the way things were. It didn’t often happen — in-between times, he was fairly stable and loving. I used to think that he had changed, but of course, he never had. Sooner or later, he’d have a drink, come home, and proceed to blame me for everything wrong in his life.

We (and I mean, he) lost all our money; he did a short stretch in prison for selling fake Levis. It was strangely the best time of our marriage, as we grew closer while we were apart, but we hit rock bottom in every other way.

The prison visits were humiliating. Once he emerged from captivity (looking and sounding better than ever), he managed to pull himself out…

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Bev G 🧙‍♀️

Mama of three grown children and six dogs. Generally a bit weird. Lives in Wales, UK.