Spousal spying

Is Your Partner Tracking Your Every Move?

Mine did

Bev G 🧙‍♀️
6 min readApr 28, 2023


Photo by Azamat E on Unsplash

Years ago, my ex-husband placed a recording device on our landline extension so he could monitor my calls while he was away. We were in the process of splitting up (yet again). There was one call where I made arrangements to go out with a friend for the evening and he gleefully replayed it to me (and anyone else who would listen) as ‘evidence’ I was cheating. I wasn’t.

He would often follow me, even if I was just grocery shopping. I’d notice his car going past if I was visiting my mother. When I asked him, he always had a plausible reason for being there.

His behavior made me hyper-suspicious for years afterward and I made sure I knew all the ways a spouse might spy on their partner. Here’s what I discovered.

When You Suspect Snooping

If you suspect they are snooping, they probably are. What are the reasons a man might spy on his wife? Why would a wife want to track her partner? What should you look out for, and how you can prevent someone from spying on you?

Reasons Why Your Partner Is Spying on You

  • They suspect you of cheating
  • You’ve cheated in the past
  • You cheated on a previous partner
  • He or she is cheating
  • They need to control you
  • They are addicted to spying
  • They’re a sociopath
  • They are genuinely concerned for your well-being.

Signs of Spying

Your husband or wife regularly questions you about your activities and the people you talk to. By this I mean they make it nitpickingly obvious they are not simply asking out of interest. It’s a regular occurrence and you feel as if you are being interrogated.

They unerringly and creepily know what you have been doing, the arrangements you make, and where you’ve been. They may mention things that you know you haven’t told them. When you query how they know, they flatly deny doing anything wrong and suggest that you are paranoid.



Bev G 🧙‍♀️

Mama of three grown children and six dogs. Generally a bit weird. Lives in Wales, UK.