Relationships

We Irritate the Crap Out of Each Other, But…

We’re still together after 23 years, and I wouldn’t swap him for anyone

Photo by sarandy westfall on Unsplash

My partner and I don’t have a conventional relationship. We don’t have a great deal in common. We don’t even sleep in the same room because, you know, his snoring and me sweltering hot. We have a couple of grown-up kids. We’ll stay together forever because any alternative is impossible. And we’re still not married.

And, yes, we do irritate each other in countless ways. We’re constantly sniping, but we rarely fight big time.

All the relationship advice articles would tell us that we are incompatible. That real love means never showing irritation or rolling your eyes. Communicating honestly and openly is the key to a happy life together. But, nah, we prefer doing it our way.

Things he does that irritate the shit out of me:

• Makes a mess wherever he goes. For example, he shakes the salt high above his plate so it goes all over the table. He spills sugar on the counters and doesn’t notice. He leaves trails of crumbs and coffee slops.
• Chooses a movie or drama series for us to watch, then falls asleep ten minutes in.
• Dresses like a tramp.
• Recounts conversations we never had.
• Shouts at the TV.
• Is addicted to FaceBook.
• Doesn’t listen.
• Has awful taste in music.
• Sighs loudly.

Things I do that boil his urine:

• Try to control everything (if I don’t, who will?).
• Nag and criticize him (that covers a lot, to be honest).
• Get distracted by my laptop/tablet and ignore him (I’m writing/researching/reading, FFS).
• Keep murmuring, “Ah-ha.” As if I’m not listening, which I’m not.
• Display my impatience with him.
• Blame him for everything (he says he didn’t do it, but I know he did).
• Moans about his diet (he’s a diabetic type 2, what does he expect?).